Time goes by so fast and so slow. Weird. Riley, Merline, Emmie, and Molly are growing so fast and changing so much. One of the reasons I've decided to blog about our journey is to document, for our kids and for us, what we miss when we get caught up in the everyday chaos. It can be so hard to see the massive blessings that are being poured out onto our family when homework has to be done, fingers get smashed, or when the kids are missing Daddy or Merline. These are just a few tidbits of life that I don't want to miss...
Riley is getting so big and he's starting to change. He's starting to get a little quieter and really watches things that are going on around him. He's very aware. He's always been aware of people and their feelings, their needs. He loves hard and feels deeply. All of these things worry me because, as a mom, I want him to feel as little pain as possible. Given how God has created him, this will not be possible. I am thankful that he already understands that God is in his corner and will never leave him. Still, the mommy in me wants to shield him from the bumps and bruises of life. On the flip side, I still see bits of my little boy and the silliness of a child. He told me that I was his valentine on Valentine's Day and that he was a Mama's boy. I know these things will change and he will grow into a sometimes surly, angst-ridden teen-age boy soon, but for now I will gather up all the sweet moments I can and tuck them away for the day that little boy turns into a man.
My little Emersen is also starting to change a little. She no longer likes pink or Dora the Explorer. As Emmie has grown we have seen that she has a quirky sense of humor and she is happy being her own person. She doesn't need a lot of people around to have fun, in fact, just give her a book and cozy spot to curl up in and she's content. In the past year Emmie has made the decision to accept Jesus into her heart and she did it in typical Emmie fashion. She told me on the way home from school one day that she prayed by herself at school and asked Jesus into her heart. I asked her a ton of questions, including why she didn't wait until she was with me and Daddy, and she just said "Mama, I asked God if it was time and he said yes, so I prayed." I wish I was that confident in what I hear God saying to me.
We are lucky that Brian gets to visit with Merline so often, and that we can call her, but we are ready to bring her home. We pray everyday that she will feel our love for her all the way in Haiti and that, even more, she will know how God loves her and has a plan for her.
I think we all, as mamas and daddies, have times when our babies are little and we're tired, lost in a sea of diapers and are unsure if we can speak coherently or when they are older and they challenge us at every turn that we wonder what God was thinking trusting me with these little people. I have had that thought so many times in so many different situations, but I have to say, I am so glad He has allowed Brian and I to be Mommy and Daddy for these little ones. I can't imagine my life without them.