It's been quite some time since I've taken moment to gather my thoughts for a blog post. There's been quite a bit going on and I'm not sure anyone really wants to know the craziness that has been our life. To be honest, I have been lying low just trying to take it all in and make sense of things I now know will never make any sense at all. If there's anyone out there looking for something to pray for here ya go! Please, please, please have at it!!!
I'll start with a few truths about being in ministry. It. Is. Hard. There are lots of times that I look around and really don't recognize what our life has become. I remember saying yes to God and am aware that saying yes to God does not mean a life full of blessings recognizable to the world. I am aware that being obedient to God makes us very attractive to Satan(and this is true for anyone being obedient to God). What I wasn't prepared for was the ease with which he (the enemy) could use people in our lives to tear us down, people we never imagined. The power of the words people speak cannot be taken lightly. Silence can be deafening. Never knowing who to trust is difficult. Ministries can be damaged and people hurt. This kind of hurt is not something I ever thought we would face in this walk. I have learned that everyone has an agenda. Everyone. Here's the thing... We cannot be moved. As for our agenda... Our agenda is to follow God, regardless of the rocks (or boulders) the enemy puts in our path.
I know that God's plan is not to harm us and that all the difficulties we face will create character in us. I know that God is sovereign and although I ache to the core because of the words and actions of a few, God is still in control. In the words of my sweet husband (who is wise as well) "in the scope of our eternity, none of this matters, it doesn't even register on the radar. All this is just a vapor when compared to eternity." I so wish it was as easy for me to see through Kingdom Eyes as it is for him. Until I can grow into that I will rest in this...
Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”
Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.
A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.
You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.
If you say, “The LORD is my refuge,” and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread on the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
“Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.” ~Psalm 91
Thank you sweet Jesus for loving me through my struggles and for not leaving my side as I wrestle with the hard stuff... I love you... Amen